The T-Park officials have finally released some social distancing guidelines.
Our residency has seen a marked increase in population with the courts being closed and so many petty criminals being released from jail in order to minimize the possible spread of the virus. Every day there are up to 10 new homemade "Welcome Home Dad!", "Thank You, China!" or similar signs at the Park's entrance. All of the early paroles and easy bails have really made the usual natural social distancing a challenge.
Until now, any official instructions on social self quarantining have been understandably delayed since most residents are naturally reclusive, hiding from insurance fraud investigators, under a restraining order, or are on house arrest. Many of the rest who aren't avoiding some sort of actual authority or legal actions still minimize social interaction or time outside of their trailers due to "everyone being a fucking NARC" or to avoid "the man" who evidently has listening devices everywhere, or are simply binge-watching Duck Dynasty yet again. One neighbor told me that as of 2 weeks ago, all ankle bracelets have received a remote update that emits an audible tone when it's within 6 feet of another. That's pretty freaking handy when you think about it. So even before the distancing guidelines were published, I have been feeling pretty safe here in the Park.
Of course, nobody here believes any of the information from the CDC or WHO. Given the 2020 election signs that have been in most yards since soon after the last presidential election, I doubt too many fellow residents search beyond a single Twitter account for information. But some must because the wild theories abound. The most popular one at the moment is that this whole thing started when Kobe Bryant's helicopter crashed because it was overloaded with Corona beer. This particular theory fits the necessary bill for T-Park reasoning:
1-"Kobe" sort of rhymes with "COVID" and most residents heard both words for the same time at the relatively same time and have been confusing them with one another ever since.
2-Corona beer sharing the name with a virus can NOT be a coincidence. And it ain't Bud Light. (I don't know if Corona sponsors a NASCAR team, but I suspect the brand's involvement or lack thereof is also at play here.)
3-The crash happened in California (where all pure evil is spawned).
4-The NBA as a whole is suspect in any and all National issues.
I personally don't care what theory they go with, as long as they know that SOMETHING is going on and that they should keep their distance.
For now, the Park is safe. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
Our residency has seen a marked increase in population with the courts being closed and so many petty criminals being released from jail in order to minimize the possible spread of the virus. Every day there are up to 10 new homemade "Welcome Home Dad!", "Thank You, China!" or similar signs at the Park's entrance. All of the early paroles and easy bails have really made the usual natural social distancing a challenge.
Until now, any official instructions on social self quarantining have been understandably delayed since most residents are naturally reclusive, hiding from insurance fraud investigators, under a restraining order, or are on house arrest. Many of the rest who aren't avoiding some sort of actual authority or legal actions still minimize social interaction or time outside of their trailers due to "everyone being a fucking NARC" or to avoid "the man" who evidently has listening devices everywhere, or are simply binge-watching Duck Dynasty yet again. One neighbor told me that as of 2 weeks ago, all ankle bracelets have received a remote update that emits an audible tone when it's within 6 feet of another. That's pretty freaking handy when you think about it. So even before the distancing guidelines were published, I have been feeling pretty safe here in the Park.
Of course, nobody here believes any of the information from the CDC or WHO. Given the 2020 election signs that have been in most yards since soon after the last presidential election, I doubt too many fellow residents search beyond a single Twitter account for information. But some must because the wild theories abound. The most popular one at the moment is that this whole thing started when Kobe Bryant's helicopter crashed because it was overloaded with Corona beer. This particular theory fits the necessary bill for T-Park reasoning:
1-"Kobe" sort of rhymes with "COVID" and most residents heard both words for the same time at the relatively same time and have been confusing them with one another ever since.
2-Corona beer sharing the name with a virus can NOT be a coincidence. And it ain't Bud Light. (I don't know if Corona sponsors a NASCAR team, but I suspect the brand's involvement or lack thereof is also at play here.)
3-The crash happened in California (where all pure evil is spawned).
4-The NBA as a whole is suspect in any and all National issues.
I personally don't care what theory they go with, as long as they know that SOMETHING is going on and that they should keep their distance.
For now, the Park is safe. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
Where and how do you come up with this stuff? Also, we need a follow up. How many of your neighbors have gotten "the jab"?
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